I read through this entire post going "oh, this is cursed", slowly growing in volume the entire time. As is proper for something this clever.

I've been doing a bit of prodding at Durable Objects lately, in part inspired by the same note that the OP quoted about implementing datastores atop the framework, and this is the sort of environment that I could see being really, really useful at scale in the future. I'm anxious about using it without a public spec and some portability, but the concept is just tremendously cool.