> I think the problem is with the culture of being founder: there is agreement that you can sacrifice almost everything for your work.
Bingo. But let's talk about what that actually means for a second because I am not sure the root cause is depression or mental illness (I am not even sure that current American definitions of mental illness make sense). The root cause is exactly what you articulated.
When you give up everything else for your work, your work becomes your life. All of your friends are your work colleagues. You can't effectively meet family responsibilities, so your business must be your family. This can work for a time (few weeks here, a month there) and indeed every time I have started a significant project there has been a few weeks where that not only had to be done but was really beneficial to do.
I think one book that every founder should read is Victor Turner's "The Ritual Process" which addresses life and ritual among the Ndembo of Africa, and Turner uses this to discuss questions of liminality and initiation elsewhere. At that initial stage of a start-up, many commonalities can be found. Putting that time in for a few weeks on the part of all founders is important to the gelling of the team. I remember starting the LedgerSMB project, working late at night from my day job, spending very very little family time, and working with another developer who would work with me (programming, meetings discussing things) while his infant son was sleeping in his arms.
I am going through the same thing now, setting up a hosting business with another LedgerSMB developer and nearing the end of that initial "initiatory push." There is nothing wrong with that push. It's vital to give a new project or business form and get things of the ground, and it is vital for the initial team to gel.
But the problem is when that becomes normality, to be sustained indefinitely. At some point, we have to break through that liminal stage and re-integrate with the rest of our society. Otherwise we die inside a little at a time, and it is unsurprising that this physically takes the lives of some founders.
Bingo. But let's talk about what that actually means for a second because I am not sure the root cause is depression or mental illness (I am not even sure that current American definitions of mental illness make sense). The root cause is exactly what you articulated.
When you give up everything else for your work, your work becomes your life. All of your friends are your work colleagues. You can't effectively meet family responsibilities, so your business must be your family. This can work for a time (few weeks here, a month there) and indeed every time I have started a significant project there has been a few weeks where that not only had to be done but was really beneficial to do.
I think one book that every founder should read is Victor Turner's "The Ritual Process" which addresses life and ritual among the Ndembo of Africa, and Turner uses this to discuss questions of liminality and initiation elsewhere. At that initial stage of a start-up, many commonalities can be found. Putting that time in for a few weeks on the part of all founders is important to the gelling of the team. I remember starting the LedgerSMB project, working late at night from my day job, spending very very little family time, and working with another developer who would work with me (programming, meetings discussing things) while his infant son was sleeping in his arms.
I am going through the same thing now, setting up a hosting business with another LedgerSMB developer and nearing the end of that initial "initiatory push." There is nothing wrong with that push. It's vital to give a new project or business form and get things of the ground, and it is vital for the initial team to gel.
But the problem is when that becomes normality, to be sustained indefinitely. At some point, we have to break through that liminal stage and re-integrate with the rest of our society. Otherwise we die inside a little at a time, and it is unsurprising that this physically takes the lives of some founders.