I think you accurately represent the male and female perspectives on singles bars, but there's a hitch: singles bars only work for sex. People at singles bars don't act remotely "themselves." The guys are puffy and douchey. The girls are silly and giddy (or drunk and slutty.) There's no point in picking someone up in a singles bar unless you don't give a crap what they're really like, because they're acting completely differently than they would in any other context. Basically, singles bars only work for the people who are in heat, hook up, and have sex. If you don't get laid, then all you get out of it is the name and phone number of someone who is essentially a total stranger whom you know nothing about.
That's why people give up on singles bars, except for guys who are hot or slick enough to get laid and the girls who are actually looking for sex and not a boyfriend (or who think that having one-night stands is a good way of looking for a boyfriend.) Most guys are disillusioned when they figure out they're not getting sex, just phone numbers from girls who look a lot less interesting in sunlight and sobriety. Most girls are disillusioned when they figure out that the only way to get any attention is to act like they're in the mood to put out if they meet the right guy. Both sexes are disillusioned when they realize they want their sexuality to be an integral part of who they are, not an entirely separate aspect of their personality, an inner douchebag/hoebag that comes out at night and does embarrassing, tasteless things.
Actually I'm not representing singles bars at all, I think the difference here is mostly cultural.
In Australia, we generally don't distinguish between singles bars and regular ones - in fact, I don't think I can actually name any place that would be qualified by anyone I know as a "singles bar"
Essentially, if you're single and your out in a club/pub here in the great land of Oz, your free game.
Whoops, that's a big difference. I was reading you in an American context. In the US, different bars have very different vibes. Singles bars are known as "meat markets" and are pretty much like resort bars -- people acting out bizarre, tasteless fantasies of themselves based on what they imagine other people want to see. Singles bars have a high profile in the culture but aren't actually popular except among a small, mostly college-aged part of the population. At regular bars, people who are at the bar are open to being approached, but the actual bar may be a relatively small part of the establishment. It's fine to approach lone women at tables and ask if you can join them, but if they're with friends at a table it's more complicated. A lot of people go to bars to meet up with their friends and their friends' friends, and they don't really want to be approached by strangers. Sometimes if you make eye contact with a cute girl you can get a clear nonverbal invite, but barring that you'll seem awkward or arrogant if you try to join them. (But if you're sitting with a group at a big table, and the person next to you is in a different group, it's often natural to strike up a conversation with them. Like I said, it's complicated.)
At the places I go to, most of the hooking up happens between people who had a prior connection, who met elsewhere or who met at the bar through common friends. Australian bars sound like more fun.
That's why people give up on singles bars, except for guys who are hot or slick enough to get laid and the girls who are actually looking for sex and not a boyfriend (or who think that having one-night stands is a good way of looking for a boyfriend.) Most guys are disillusioned when they figure out they're not getting sex, just phone numbers from girls who look a lot less interesting in sunlight and sobriety. Most girls are disillusioned when they figure out that the only way to get any attention is to act like they're in the mood to put out if they meet the right guy. Both sexes are disillusioned when they realize they want their sexuality to be an integral part of who they are, not an entirely separate aspect of their personality, an inner douchebag/hoebag that comes out at night and does embarrassing, tasteless things.